What is coaching (and what is it not?) The complete overview

May 30

I live in a bubble. I am in the self-development industry for more than 10 years. First as a client and since 2016 as a certified coach. I work as a coach with clients, I regularly work with coaches myself, and a lot of my friends are from this industry or work with coaches. Hence, coaching is part of my daily life. But I sometimes forget that this is not the case for everyone and that there are a lot of questions around coaching, particularly when you have not worked with a coach before and consider hiring one.

So here is your complete overview of everything related to coaching!

A DISCLAIMER: I intend to provide valuable insights about coaching and this field of work, but as I write through the lens of my value system, personal observations and experience, and what I consider integer and ethical, it will influence this article. Coaching is a highly individual process and will look different for every client, coach, and client-coach combination - so please take what you read with a grain of salt, and focus on the info you find helpful.

What is Coaching?

According to the International Coaching Federation (ICF), Coaching is "partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential".

I think we could phrase it a bit more basic and say that coaches help their clients to reach their goals.in various ways and through various methods.

What is crucial in this relationship is that the coach usually does not have “the answers”, but encourages and enables the client to find their own answers. This can happen through questioning techniques, exercises, or other methods.

Coaching ranges from generic life coaching to highly specialized topics and can happen in many different capacities - from one-off sessions to long coaching series.

Many coaches work online with clients from all around the world, contrary to face-to-face sessions where the client is physically present with the coach.

The coaching industry is growing, with a strong push over the last years as COVID is a driver for more and more people to question the status quo and want to improve their careers, lives, and wellbeing.

If you want to learn more about what Designing Your Life Coaching is, then have a look HERE.

What does a coach do?

Coaching is a very broad field and hence, every coach works differently but the work of coaches includes:

Creates space

If you commit to working with a coach, the biggest shift will be that you give “official” space to your dreams and goals. It´s not easy in our busy day-to-day lives to invest dedicated time to our dreams. A coach will create this space for you so you can explore, discover, work on your goals, and take aligned action. And more so, a coach will hold this space for you, even when things feel challenging!

Asks good questions

Good questions are a very powerful coaching tool! They will help you to understand yourself and your goals better, identify what´s holding you back, and support you in defining and taking aligned action. What are “good” questions? Asking the right question at the right moment They don't always have to be deep and thought-provoking! Sometimes it´s very simple questions that will shift things for you!

Holds you accountable

Another big aspect of coaching is that a coach - or more precisely, coaching, will hold you accountable. If you work with a coach, you have someone by your side who wants you to achieve your aim. Hence, part of your coaching experience will be to talk about action steps you agreed on, reflect on what has happened since the last time you spoke, and explore what needs to be tweaked, continued, or stopped so you´ll reach your goals.

Equips you with tools

Part of coaching is to acquire tools that you can use for the rest of your life. These can be specific exercises that provide you clarity or deeper insights (eg the Designing Your Life Workview and Lifeview), strategies to maneuver challenges with more ease (eg. how to set good goals), or techniques to improve your thought or behavioral patterns (eg. the inner critic, overthinking). And often, just being part of a coaching experience, creating space for your dreams and this work, and committing to change is the most powerful tools of all!

Motivation and encouragement

A lot can happen in a coaching series. You´ll grow as a person, work on your goals, and move forward. But very likely you´ll also experience moments of stagnation, frustration, and resentment. This is part of the journey and often initiates the biggest growth opportunities. A coach will support you to move through these moments, help you to connect with your vision and dreams again, and remind you of your strengths and resources.

What can coaching help you with? What are typical topics to work on with a coach?

The coaching industry has grown massively over the last years and this resulted in specialists for many different topics. I mainly coach around purpose, career clarity, and fulfillment, others focus more on the personal life, and other coaches support their clients around health topics.

Some of the areas coaches can specialize in

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Meaning, purpose, fulfillment
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Career coaching
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Relationships
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Spirituality
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Motherhood/Parenting
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Creativity
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Performance and Motivation
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Health
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Finances, Money Mindset
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Personal development
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Business Coaching
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Stress, Burnout, Balance
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Coaches usually work in the area that speaks most to them. Either because they have lived experience in that field and want to support others who are going through the same or simply because they have a passion or interest in that topic.

One thing to add here: as we live our lives holistically, it´s natural that some of these areas overlap. Life is not made of separate compartments but includes many different areas: work, partnership, health, creativity, the relationship with yourself, and more. Hence, working with a business coach will very probably have an impact on your personal life too, hiring a health coach might influence your relationships, career coaching can lead to more fulfillment and balance. You get the idea, right?!

What results can you expect when working with a coach?

The results you´ll get out of a coaching series depend on different factors. Anong these are your goals, your individual situation and resources available (eg time, energy, other commitments), and also the trajectory of the coaching series. You might start working on a certain topic just to discover that there is something else that needs your attention more than your initial goal.  And please bear in mind: yes, results are important and one of the number one reasons to hire a coach. But results can have so many different shades and are not always measurable. Plus, life is an ongoing journey and never a finished product.

Here are some examples of what I see in my clients. Some of these results are obvious, others more subtle:

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Clarity around their big vision in life
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A career change such as a new job, starting their own business or changing their role in their current organization

Sometimes it´s also the clarity that what they thought they wanted is not for them anymore

Starting a passion project, an artistic routine, committing to soul work

More fulfillment and happiness, less overthinking, more decisiveness

A more relaxed relationship with their inner critic, doubt, and fear

A defined plan for the next steps to take

A better understanding of and more confidence in their needs and desires

A better relationship with themselves, taking better care of their body, mind, and spirit

Showing up more like themselves, expressing all of who they are, and more confidence in their skills, abilities, and what's possible for them.

What are the limits and restrictions of coaching?

Obviously, I am a big advocate of coaching. But I also want to talk about its limits and constraints.

First of all, coaching is not a magic cure. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts and no “secret” that will help you achieve everything you want. If you want to change things, it will require you to do the work, to look inside, to face doubt and resistance that come with change. It will require you to come up with your own answers, your own solutions. To identify what strategies work best for you and how you want to approach life. Coaching is a fantastic resource and support to move through that with more ease, but coaching is not a silver bullet.

And, working with a coach can be demanding! You’ll commit to your dreams, you’ll face your fears, and you’ll take one step after the other to reach your goals, This will require courage, stamina, and effort. YOUR courage, stamina, and effort. No coach will be able to do the work for you so it’s all on you to keep things moving. Doing this work can be challenging, uncomfortable, and confronting. You’ll might have to question yourself, where you are in life, you might discover that what worked for you in the past is not serving you anymore, and you might have to actually change. Uff…

The good thing: this all is also the beauty of doing this work. It will be you who will learn and grow, acquire new tools, deepen the trust in yourself, rediscover what's possible for you. It will be you who will walk away from a coaching series with a new skill-set, more resilience, and a deeper understanding of who you are, what you want in life, and how you want to show up in this world. And these are things you'll carry with you for the rest of your life!

What is the difference between coaching and therapy?

Because there are some overlaps, it´s important to talk about the difference between coaching and therapy (psychotherapy or counseling).

Both, coaching and therapy or counseling help people to feel better about themselves and their lives.

Simplified speaking, therapy tends to focus more on the root of behavior (looking into the past), whereas coaching tends to focus on the outcome (how to reach individual goals).

The lines are often blurry, as many therapists use coaching tools and techniques, and many coaches have a therapeutical background. Therefore I won't focus on the technicalities too much in this article. What I want to focus on though is one very important aspect that distinguishes those two fields.

Severe mental health problems do belong in the hands of psychotherapists or psychiatrists! Coaches are usually not trained to work with conditions such as severe anxiety, eating disorders, or severe forms of depression. This is not part of coaching training and therefore coaches do neither have the skills nor qualifications to treat such conditions.

Coaching is not therapy. Coaches don’t treat mental health conditions.

This does not mean that coaches can’t work with someone who goes through psychological treatment. But, the client must be “coachable”, hence, stable enough to work with a coach, and the limits must be clear and well communicated. In such cases, coaching can be a beautiful addition to therapeutical treatment and vice versa.

In case you are struggling with mental health issues, please reach out to a trained health professional 🤍

Is coaching the same as talking to a good friend?

The quick answer: no!

The longer answer:  working with a coach has several benefits, such as

A coach maintains a professional distance.

This helps the coach (and hence you!) to avoid blind spots, see things from a different angle, and provide new insights and ideas that someone who knows you for a long time already might not be able to see.

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A coach is a professional
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Coaches have trained to ask powerful questions, to help you identify what's subconsciously holding you back from reaching your goals, and how to structure a powerful coaching session.

A coaching session is a dedicated space to work on your topics and a coach is a clearly defined form of support.

This creates the room you need to work on your goals and allows you to fully focus on what you need in that given moment.

What to look out for when searching for a coach?

If you are thinking of working with a coach, here are three thoughts that will help you find the right support for you:

Can the coach help you with what you want to work on?

This question might sound strange but you might want to get clear on what areas you want to work on and then look for someone with expertise in that area. Not all coaches have to be specialized - coaching is quite a versatile skill, but it might make sense to look for someone who has coached in your preferred area before.

Can you afford this coach?

Depending on the length of the coaching series, the intensity of support, and the business model, coaches can charge very accessible rates or hefty prices. More expensive does not necessarily mean better so you want to have a closer look at what the coach offers and if you think it could be a good fit.

By the way: if coaching is something you can't afford right now: many coaches offer inexpensive workshops or online training and some coaches offer even pro-bono coaching.

Do you like the coach?

This might sound trivial but also check if you like and trust your potential coach and their coaching style before starting to work with them. As you will spend a lot of time with your coach and share your inner world with them, there needs to be a certain level of sympathy and trust. Your coach does not have to become your best friend but you should feel supported and cared about when interacting with them.

Bear in mind that not all good coaches have fancy certificates, nor are coaches with many years in the industry necessarily better than newer coaches. So conduct some research yourself and don't shy away to make use of free intro calls to ask questions and get a better feel for your potential coach.

What is an intro call?

You might have seen that some coaches offer free intro calls, often also referred to as discovery calls. These calls allow you to connect with a potential coach to see if you are a fit and could work together. Having this initial conversation is hugely beneficial to figure out if you could work together. It will give you a better understanding of the coach and also give the coach important information if they can support you.

If you want to hop on an intro call with me, you can book it HERE ✨

How to prepare for an intro call

To get the most out of an intro call I recommend you set a clear intention for the call. Do you have a specific topic you want to talk about? What feeling do you hope to get when talking to your potential coach? Are there any open questions you would like to have answered?

This is your space now to see if the person you reached out to could be the one helping to reach your goals.

How to be a good coaching client?

Coaching is centered around you and your needs. So the most important thing to do is to show up and be open to the experience. Sometimes you might want to do exercises to support your journey, sometimes it's reflecting on behavior, thoughts, or interactions, sometimes it's about taking action, and other times the work is to integrate what you've learned.

There is no right or wrong because this is your individual journey.

As long as you lean into the process and keep an open mind, things will change for you. You can´t mess this up. Once you´ve embarked on this journey back home to yourself, your life will shift and your inner and outer world will change!

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Hey, I am Laura a certified Designing Your Life Coach, recruitment professional, podcaster, multi-passionate career changer, and business owner, In my Designing Your (Work) Life 1:1 Coaching series, I will help you to gain clarity about what you want in life and your career, equip you with the tools you need to create a fulfilling (work) life and move through challenges along the way. Because this is not only about a job but about what life you want to live! 🌿

Laura Beyer