Introverted or extroverted - What is all the fuss about?
It seems that personality types are quite a hot topic at the moment. There are books being published about different characters, TED talks cover that field and researchers publish new outcomes every other week.
But does this really matter? Do you need to know if we are introverted or rather extroverted?
What difference does that make in your day to day life?
Do those classifications really matter?
Extroverted, introverted, shy Extroverts, outgoing Introverts, … huh!?
I am not a big fan of labels and don’t like to put people in boxes.
But sometimes they are helpful for a better understanding of how the people tick that we deal with. Including ourselves.
There are many models out there that explain different variations of character traits.
The most known one is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®, that defines 16 different personality types which also includes how we process information, how to make decisions, and our approach to planning.Today though, we will focus on introversion and extroversion.
So what is an Introvert?
And what is an Extrovert?
There are different definitions for Introverts and Extroverts but the most popular ones define the terms based on the level of interaction with the surrounding.
Introverts
A very basic definition of an Introvert is that an Introvert is a person who gains energy from being alone and loses energy when interacting with others. Thus, Introverts tend to prefer solitary activities over social gatherings. Also, Introverts tend to be more quiet and sensitive and have a tendency for introspection. If they open up they usually seek deeper, meaningful connections.
Extroverts
Extroverts on the other hand love to be around people. They prefer group activities and get energized by social interaction. Extroverts are usually outgoing personalities that easily connect with all kinds of people. They tend to be more enthusiastic and more easily excited than Introverts, love taking the lead, and taking on challenges.
Of course, this does not mean that an Introvert does not like to party every now and then or that an Extrovert does not need some me-time to recover from spending a weekend with friends.
As with everything in life, there is no black or white, but a broad spectrum on the introvert-extrovert scale. This is where the whole shy Extrovert, outgoing Introvert labels, etc come into play.
It’s not important to find out where exactly you or the people around you are placed on this scale, but it can be helpful to know whether you are dealing with someone rather introverted or extroverted.
Why is that?
I’ll give you an example.
I used to live in a shared flat with two flatmates.
They like to chat. They like to interact. They are loud and noisy and don't need much private space.
This was annoying me a lot. I thought: why are they so rude? Why do they have to talk all the time and keep their doors open?
I was craving for calmness and peace.
Until it hit me: This is not about being impolite or rude!
They are just clearly rather on the extroverted side and thus, enjoying company, whilst I am rather introverted and need lots of space for myself.
So regardless of those labels, this insight helped me to understand their (and my) behavior better than before.
Because I knew this is not about annoying anyone but just about expressing the very own personality.
So what I would like to encourage you to do is to pay more attention to the people around you.
Acknowledge the different personality types and that we all simply have a different need for conversation, interaction and rest.
Usually, people are not rude, boring or annoying (although there are undoubtedly some of them out there), but just different.
What to do
So in case you are an Extrovert dealing with an Introvert: don't judge this person because they does not want to join you and your co-workers for lunch. Your colleague just might need some alone time to re-center before the afternoon meetings.
Also, make sure to take care of yourself. Extroverts tend to run at full speed all day long. So listen to your body and mind and get enough rest to for your activities.
If you are an introverted person: don't get angry about all those loud, chatty people around you. They just enjoy interaction more than you do, so give them the space to shine. For you, it is important to make sure to set boundaries and learn to make space for yourself. Allow yourself to take time out from social activities and establish rituals to recharge.
Generally speaking, embrace your own personality type and acknowledge the different characters of the people around you. There is no right or wrong, no better or worse. It’s about being true to yourself and treating yourself and others with respect and love.
Resources
If you want to read more about this topic I recommend to check this out:
The book “Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking”
Enjoy exploring your own personality and
Have a wonderful day!
Laura