How to find direction and your compass in life (when everything feels unclear)
Many years ago, I did my Life Coach & NLP training in Bali. One of the first “real” coaching tools we learned was working with values - and I was fascinated! Never before did I consciously pay attention to what my deep, subconscious values are, but now, in this training, I suddenly got very clear on what matters most to me. And things shifted. Every job that felt “wrong”, every decision I was struggling with, every aspect of my life that felt unsatisfying suddenly made sense. I understood that my previous jobs never were in line with my values, I realized that the decisions I had to make were actually not that complicated if I used my values as guiding principles, and I suddenly saw clearly what steps I needed to take to create the life I was dreaming of. Since then, I have used values with every single one of my clients and see the power of this tool over and over again! When my clients discover their core values, it often causes drastic changes in their lives. They suddenly understand what drives their motivation, what makes them like or dislike certain things, and what they have to do to feel happy, free, and fulfilled. So let´s talk about values and how you can use them to find clarity and direction, and create a (work) life that make you happy too! What is your compass in life?
When you are stuck in a career that doesn't feel right anymore you are probably determined to change things. You would quit your job, change careers, and start all over if you only knew what alternative to choose. But f you don´t have a new direction yet, taking action will be hard. “Feeling lost and without direction” is one of the main reasons why people don´t move into action and do change things to feel better in their careers and lives. Because how can you make a move if you don't know where to go? So what you need first is a rough direction, a compass for your life. There are many different tools that can help you with that eg. Strength finder toolsCreate a vision and mission for your (work) lifeDesign a vision boardFind Your WhyDiscover your Big 5 in LifeFuture Self exercisesThe Designing Your Life “work view” & “life view”Perfect (work) day or week exerciseand many more
And they are all amazing tools (I work with all of them in my coaching practice) and can provide a lot of clarity, but there is one tool that goes one level deeper - that discovers what lies below all those tools: and that is your values! What are values?
Simply said, values are what is important to you. Values express your deepest needs and what matters -or doesn't- to you. Values are your fundamental beliefs and the lens through which you see the world. They determine what you like and don´t like, what you value or not, what you pursue, and what you stay away from. Ultimately, values determine how you move through life, and how you live, act, and are. And therefore it is so important to identify your values and use them in your favor!How are values formed?
Values are formed at a very young age (normally when we are 0-7 years old). At this young age, you absorb all around you, therefore your values are not a consciously chosen framework but formed unconsciously. What you take on as values is heavily influenced by your family, education, culture, society, friends, media, religion - or lack thereof! You don´t decide at this young age what you believe in and give importance to - you learn it from your environment and take it on in form of your values. Why is it important to know your values?
Your set of values influences your life - and career choices - like nothing else! They drive your behavior
Depending on your values you will pursue certain things and fear others. If freedom is one of your values you´ll crave a job that allows you a certain level of independence, whereas when you value safety highly, you will tend to seek a career that provides you with stability. If you are craving connection you will interact differently with colleagues, friends, and family, compared to someone who is focused on power. Values are the basis for your decision making
Because they drive your behavior, values also influence your decisions. You will favor decisions that are in line with your values and you will prefer to decide on something that supports your value system rather than making a decision that could threaten that. Someone who values adventure will probably quit a job quicker and easier than someone who needs stability in their life. Remember these are rarely intentional actions but very often happen subconsciously! They determine how you work and live
As values drive your behavior and decision-making, of course, they shape your career and life. If you hold “family” as one of your core values, your career will look different to someone who honors growth and success. Different values will reflect in a different life, career, and lifestyle.Impact whether you are happy or not
And ultimately, your values also determine your level of happiness. If you meet your deepest needs regularly, you will feel happier than someone who moves through life without being aware of their values. If you live in line with them you can choose a career that supports your values and surround yourself with people who have a similar value system, all things that will make you happy and fulfilled!But, most people are not aware of their values!
We are not taught “values” in school, nor is it part of our education to consciously identify our deepest needs. Therefore, most people only have a vague -or no- understanding of what their values are. So they choose a career that seems logical or “the right thing to do” instead of aligning their work-life with their values and might end u working in a company that operates in a value system very different from their own.If you don´t know your inherent drivers, achieving happiness and meaning will be guessing and trying. Whereas when you start to consciously work with your values you'll be able to shape and intentionally create fulfillment, both in your career and life!Knowing your values will be your inner compass, your guiding star, your source of clarity and happiness. So let´s have a look at how you can find your values and start consciously using them to find a career that suits you and create a life that fulfills you!One exercise to find your values - and your direction and compass in life
There are several techniques and exercises you can do to find your values. As they are anchored deep in your subconscious mind, getting to your core values requires a bit of determination and technique. With the exercise below, you will get a good overview of your values already.How to do this exercise
With this exercise, you want to access your subconscious mind as much as possible. Therefore, take some time for it. Make yourself comfortable, light some candles, get yourself a cup of your favorite tea, and turn on some music. Whatever helps you to get in the flow. During the exercise, let your subconscious mind speak. Do not judge or evaluate, but stay open and curious about what is showing up. If you want to go deeper, you can work with your coach (hint: me!) who knows how to access your subconscious mind.Peak Moments exercise in three steps
Answer the questions below to identify what your values are.STEP 1: Identify peak moments in your life
Identify moments in your life when you felt fulfilled, happy, alive, and like your true self. Those times when you felt "This is who I am!". Your peak moments can connect to your career or be from your personal life. The only important thing is that those moments made you feel really good! Come up with at least five moments and describe them in a few sentences.STEP 2: Dive deeper and get to the core
Think about those moments and ask yourself: "What is it about them that make them fulfilling for me?" What makes them so special? Is it feeling connected, being in nature, serving others, expressing yourself,... What is it that makes those moments feel so good for you?STEP 3: Identify the underlying values
Have a closer look at what you wrote in the previous step and think about what these moments represent to you. Do they stand for family, nature, growth, freedom, love, safety, honesty, beauty, or something else? Use words that feel right for you. Create your own terms, if you need to. Have a closer look to see if some of the terms are part of a bigger theme if they belong together or are distinct for you.Most people have between 3-5 values but don´t worry if you come up with more - the more you work with values, the clearer it will become to you what your true values are.✨ I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU: Get my free worksheet “Find your values - your worksheet for instant clarity and direction”. It contains this exercise with more context and makes working on your values so much more fun! Get the worksheet here. ✨
How to connect more with your values?
Now you know your values - great! So how can you connect more with them? Leverage this information to determine your way forward? Make them an essential part of your life? Here are three ideas:Awareness
Identifying your values was the biggest step of all - now it´s about internalizing these results and starting to pay attention to how your values show up in your career and life. Knowing your values now, did you gain clarity in some areas of your life? Do certain things suddenly make sense? Do you notice subtle shifts? Use the results you got and pay attention to what will come up after the exercise. It can be a new sense of clarity, gentle adjustments, or notable changes over the next days or weeks. Stay open and see what shows up for you! Dig deeper
To better understand your values you might want to invest some time to dig deeper. What do your values mean to you? E.g.if you identified "connection" as one of your values then investigate what connection feels and looks like to you. What needs to happen so you feel connected? How do you feel it? How do you know it´s connection and not something else? Get creative with this exercise: journal, draw, create a collage,...It will help you better understand what your values mean to you and how you want them to show up in your job and life.Investigate & evaluate
This step is an interesting and fun one because it does not only help you to connect more with your values but provides you with specific hints of what you can do to align your career more with your values. With this exercise, you want to get very specific about your values and their impact on your (work) life.Questions that will help you with that:How are your values expressed in your career and life?How much is your company / industry in line with what matters most to you?How much space do you have to express your values in your job and personal life?Do you honor them enough?Could you give them more space?What needs to happen so you align your career and life more with your values?What can you do to make them a more significant part of your job and life?
How to use your values as a tool for career clarity, direction, and happiness?
As you know your values now and have a deeper understanding of how they show up in your life (or not), it´s time to move to the next step and that is to consciously use your values to create a different work experience and life. Here are three ideas of how you can use your values to find clarity regarding your career, determine what steps to focus on, and design a fulfilling, purposeful life.Decision making
Knowing your values will make decisions easier for you. All you have to ask is “Is this decision in line with my values, or not?” and then act according to that. Because values inherently represent your deepest needs, they act as your guiding principles regarding what´s right or wrong, what will make you feel good and what not, and what you have to do to feel an aligned, purposeful life. In other words: decisions that are hard for you are very likely not in line with your values, there might be a value conflict, or you would have to decide against your values. Of course, this does not mean that from now on all decisions are easy-peasy, but knowing your needs they will be very clear to you from now on (even if you consciously act against your values). Read more about decision-making here.Career adjustments
In the section “Investigate & evaluate” above, I shared some questions with you that will help you to better understand the impact of your values on your work and life. Now it´s time to move one step forward and ask yourself what specifically you can do to honor your values more in your job and career? And then take action according to that. Initiate tweaks in your current job to feel better or start looking for career alternatives that are more in line with what matters most to you. Small changes can have a big impact already and even just getting aware and observing consciously will change things for you. And if you question if focussing on your values will really help you to find work that brings you joy and fulfillment but believe, me, starting to work consciously with your values will shift it all. It will bring you clarity, direction, and the key to feeling good in your career and life!Align your thoughts and actions
If you value freedom - then make sure you think and act in a way that helps you to find more freedom. If you crave growth and inspiration then make sure that your thoughts and actions reflect that too. Often we move quite unconsciously through life, not paying a lot of attention to our thoughts and rather react than consciously act. but if you want to create a different life and feel happy at work, you will have to actively use your thoughts and actions to build what you want! Make it a habit to ask yourself regularly: “Is this thought, is this action in line with my values? If not, what can I do about it?” and you´ll notice things shift!✨ If you want to deepen this work then get my free values worksheet here ✨
Any questions you might have, let me know!You got thisand so much more!Laura ————
Hey, I am Laura a certified Designing Your Life Coach, Recruitment professional, Podcaster, and multi-passionate career changer and business owner, I will help you to gain clarity about what you want in life and your career, equip you with the tools you need to create a fulfilling (work) life, and help you to move through challenges along the way. Because this is not only about a job but about what life you want to live!
If you want to take it one step further, also incorporate mindset work into your career and life planning, overcome doubt, the inner critic, and overthinking, then reach out to me so we can see if my Designing Your (Work) Life 1:1 Coaching series is the right thing for you.
