How to surround yourself with the right people
Friendships play a crucial role in whether we feel happy or not. But how do you find friends? And who are the right people in your life?
It is said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So choose wisely who you invite into your life.
Although I like to socialize with like-minded people, I've always preferred to spend my time with only a small number of friends. Not being a “cool” clique person was something that bothered me, especially during my teenage years. But over time I’ve come to realize that I simply prefer to focus on the individual rather than hanging out in a group.
Plus, I need lots of time for myself. Thus, I have to choose wisely who I invite into my life in order to keep the balance between recharging and spending time with others. This has led to a clean up over the last couple of years. I had to let go of people that just did not fit into my life anymore to make space for new friendships.
Today I am very happy with the people around me and would not want to have it any other way.
But how did this process go and what did I learn along the way? This is what I`d like to share with you today.
Friendships make you happy!
Research has shown that good friendships do not only increase the overall happiness but also play an important role in leading a healthier life, being more confident and growing as a person. Therefore, having people in our lives that we can trust and that lift us up is definitely something worth striving for.
Many of us still have friends from school that we've been knowing from a young age on. Once we leave school or university it`s often the workplace or the extended circle of friends where we meet new people. However, building a new relationship takes time and dedication - which can be quite a challenge in busy adult life.
The pace of how we make new friends can also depend on the personality type that we are.
Extroverts normally connect easier with others and extend their network very naturally whereas introverts tend to seek fewer but deeper relationships and therefore need a bit more time to open up to new people. Neither of those approaches is right or wrong. But it's good to keep in mind that everyone has his or her own approach when meeting new people.
Regardless of whether you are rather introverted or extroverted, you should make sure to surround yourself with individuals that contribute positively to your life and add joy and love to your world.
So what is YOUR status quo? Are you happy with the people in your life?
Do you have the feeling that there is a balance between giving and taking in your friendships? Could you say of yourself that you are a good friend? Or do you sometimes have the feeling that the right people are missing in your life and that you would like to share more commonalities for a deeper connection?
Then it would be probably a good idea to put a new touch to your network. Here is what you can do.
#1 - Declutter to make space
This can be quite a painful process but in order to invite the right souls into your life you need to make space first. Investigate carefully: who adds energy and good vibes to your life and who just sucks energy from you. Let go of those who don`t leave you with a positive feeling and don't be afraid of the gap that might occur. The right people will show up sooner than you can imagine and fill this hole with all their love and energy.
# 2 - Make new connections
Once you`ve cleaned up your circle of friends there is space for new connections.Look around: are there inspiring people you would like to hang out with more? Is there a club or group of cool people that you could join? This could be a debating society like Toastmasters or an art seminar. Maybe you want to attend a language class or boost your fitness? There are a thousand ways how you can expand your network. Be curious and open to new ideas and people.
#3 - Be proactive
Build your network proactively. Be the one who brings people together. Organize get-togethers, arrange meetings, or host a party.If you don't like to organize events then keep it simple. Make a table reservation and encourage your friends to bring a guest, open your flat on Sunday afternoon and invite people to come over for a cup of tea or set up a casual picnic and ask everyone to bring their own food. This way you will not only strengthen existing friendships but also meet different types of people and eventually make new friends.
And then? Be a good friend!
Friendships need to be nurtured. It takes time and dedication to be a good friend. So once you've identified the people that deserve a spot in your life, take good care of them. Establish rituals like a regular movie night, send a quick message to let your friends know that you think of them, make a small gift every now and then and of course, be there for each other. Put effort into your friendship so it can grow and become stronger. It’s up to you how you shape your tribe
I think every person is worth engaging and spending time with because we can learn from every single individual we meet. So please don`t see this article as an invitation to shrink down your clique. If you are happy with a large group of friends, then keep it that way and enjoy every minute with them. But in case you feel like there is room for improvement in your social life then it might be worth starting to investigate who adds something positive to your life and who continuously lowers your energy level. Make a conscious decision who you want to have in your life, let go of those who don't make you happy anymore, and then look for people that you want to spend more time with.
Let me know how this is going!
Yours,
Laura