Trapped in a thought spiral? This tool will help
Do you know these moments when everything feels entangled and connected? When you have the feeling that whatever decision you make it will have a huge influence on all other areas of your life? When your thoughts going in circles because you are looking for this one loose end that will allow you to take action without making a domino effect?
The bad news: you are trapped in a thought spiral.
The good news: I have a tool for you that will help!
In situations like that, a very simple shift will help you: separating the WHAT from the HOW!
Separate the What from the How
The WHAT are your dreams, the goals you want to achieve
The HOW is the way of how to get there, the actions steps you have to take
So instead of mixing those two things up, focus on one after the other.
1st step: what
In this step, it´s about getting clear about what you actually want and what your goal is. Questions that will help you with this step:
What is it that you truly want?
What are you craving?
What do you need in your life?
This helps you to stay focused on the goal, to observe objectively what it is that you most want and need. The crucial part here is, that if you open the space to specify your goals, without thinking of the action steps to reach them, you keep fear, doubt, and challenging thoughts in check. Because at this step, you solely have an eye on your vision.
Step 2: how
Once you got clear on what it is that you want, you can then focus on how you will get there. Questions that will help you with that
What do I need to do so I will reach my goals?
What action steps will support my dreams?
What could get in my way and what can I do to stay on track?
So in this step, you can start to think about an action plan, the specific things you need to do to reach your goal, and solutions to possible obstacles along the way. Because you got so clear on what your goals are in the previous step, they will pill you through any challenges that might arise.
… and in real life?
What I see on a regular basis is that those two steps get mixed up, they get entangled, and this is when things start to feel really complex and unsolvable. And this also opens the doors to fear, doubt, and the inner critic.
I`ll give you an example:
Let's say you are unhappy in your job and want to change your career.
When you mix the WHAT and HOW together, this often starts an inner dialog that goes like this:
“I am really unhappy with my current situation and I know that I really want something different
BUT
I don't know how to get there
it feels really risky
I am not sure if I have what it takes to make this happen.”
So you are basically mixing your desires and action steps of how to get there, which makes things feel way more complex than they need to be.
Whereas when you focus on the WHAT first, and then on the HOW, you can look at things more rationally, calmer, with more focus on a solution.
So instead of “I want a change but I am worried about his and don't know about that!,
you focus on the WHAT first:
This is what I want.
This is what I want my new life to look like.
This is what is important to me in my new career, in my personal life, in my relationships.
